Jars-Of-Clay

What now?

2010-05-11T16:37:00.002+08:00

Having received such an important call alleviates me from my seemingly unending anxiety. A new call on my life,'welcome back to student's life again'. It appears to be appealing,however it is a different type of a student's life or rather, it will be a working student's life.
The first class now clashes with my church camp that I have been longing to go. I am left with choices to make, unfortunately a difficult one. What am I suppose to do now?

Close the bargain

2010-05-03T11:33:00.003+08:00

I just went in and told her,"Regarding my further studies, I have made up my mind. I will stick my what I want to do for now."
Well, "she" replied,"Okay, since you have made up your mind, I wish to tell you about this that the college will always create a niche for the academic staff to grow with the college. Your department is planning to offer Diploma in English soon (no specified time/year). So i guess in your situation, the institution next door offers a better job prospect for you."
I thought for sometime after I left her room. I could almost say that what she meant was I am making a big mistake here. What she recommended for me is still the best for me to grow with the college. Now since I am playing in my own game,and not in hers, I might as well have some other plans and the college might not fully support me in some ways especially the opportunity to progress in teaching field. Maybe she's expecting me to tender my resignation letter upon completing my studies and she might not be interested to help me to grow in the area I'm interested to work in.
Well, at least the bargain is closed. No more dragging and persuading me to be part of another research paper or to work with someone who is brilliant yet compelling sometimes.
I am not expecting financial aid from the college to achieve my dream. Regardless of how she feels, I still pray that she will understand someday. I can heave a sigh of relief now and move on. The fear is gone because He truly lives!

The journey goes on

2010-01-27T20:43:00.005+08:00

I enjoyed the days filled with work. Pastor's current sermon, depicting work as a gift from God in the book of Genesis changed my perspective on work itself. It is a "gift" rather than perceiving it as an unbearable burden sometimes. In fact, the very first worker of this entire universe is God Himself. Creating the earth and the living things. Well, He said it was good and indeed very good. However, sin entered the picture and the whole work has become tiresome, burdensome, purposeless and God punished Cain to be a restless wanderer. I could be like Cain most of the time but I tried at my level's best not to. And Cheng Yee, I have decided on what to do. I am not sure of the path ahead but I need to make attempts to find out even more.
Presently all my work for this semester is almost done. I have to put an end to this chapter and embark on a new one after Chinese New Year. I am glad that a new year begins and I have to stop where I am and reflect upon my previous journey. Where did I come from, why I need to stop and how to move forward. The journey goes on. My parents are very supportive and I am very grateful to God for that. He has blessed me with the best parents on earth, "when we have no friction on certain issues =)". Now, the journey ahead is not a bed of roses. I have to be prepared with whatever that comes my way. Even in the toughest moment, God has carried me through.

You are a terrfific writer!

2010-01-22T23:26:00.004+08:00

I just couldn't put down the book once I start reading it. Thank you so much for the interesting insights given and led me into a great world of imagination.

Exam, exam and marking!

2010-01-22T22:17:00.003+08:00

Having to mark your students' work is not easy. You may turn out writing like them in the end. It was difficult to maintain how much you have gleaned in learning English and within "God knows how long", your English could be disastrous...
My current leisure activities: jogging, playing tennis, reading (if I have the time)collecting wrapping papers, handbags and shoes!!
Trying to start a new set of collectibles..which is rather pricy but I know that's what I long to do..Can anyone tell me the wonders of LEGO?=)
I don't understand why but I have a desire to own a set of it..They look gorgeous!

Balik Kampung

2009-09-17T22:35:00.000+08:00

'Balik kampung', a very localised maxim that reminds me of my vocation now. I rarely blog. This one is sort of a come back after a long time.
The day before I came back, my boss worked me until 9.05pm. It was an insane idea of driving back right after my work and immediately began my new job the next day at 8.30 am. Thank God His sufficient grace and mercy as I travelled home with Andrew. Poor guy. He purposely waited at the car park for me that entire night to ensure that I could make it back safely and he offered to drive me home. After all, the journey seemed long and tiring. I slept soundly in the car.
The first day I arrived at the college gate, I was anticipating for new challenges and a fruitful briefing or orientation to kick off my day. My first day was rather short, simple and sweet. Nothing much from the senior lecturers but kept asking us to be careful with the students' mischief.
Then came the second, third and going to be the forth day soon! Still not much work or preparation to be done. I have to wait for the new textbooks in order to plan my lessons. As for now, I better start reading some stuff about class management, culture and psychology for me to comprehend deeper regarding the post-modern students' mentality.
I just returned from Ipoh with my parents. Basically Kampar is just a nice place for me now. No rushing. No deadline. No pressure meeting with boss. No proposal. No editing. No changes and what not..
Balik kampung..oh...Balik kampung...the feeling is just indescribable..it's raining out there.
Yay, i can get to sleep when it rains and I love it.

In action again

2009-06-01T17:57:00.003+08:00

Another out-of-routine day begun as I woke up this morning. There were loads of things in my mind. First of all, I needed to keep the house spick and span. To keep myself sane, surprisingly i did some academic read up. And to make myself feel comforted and assured, I needed the word of God. The time was ticking too fast. I couldn't even sit down and think of what I desire to do with my one and only life.
The morning was somehow occupied with phone calls and house chores.
Then came afternoon...a pleasant surprise was given by my sister.
The surprise was, I met with Victor. Victor is now my sister's colleague and not anymore soon. Quite a bit to catch up with each other though. He seems to be still the Victor that I know of. Good to know that too. Somehow, we cut down a lot of crappy jokes. We had a simple yet meaningful fellowship time with each other. He brought the issue of opportunity cost. Why so?
It is decision making time for me. These thoughts lasted throughout the afternoon and partly evening until i decided to blog it. May be it helps to release what I need not have to contain within myself. Of course I do hope not to make the wrong step but how do i define my wrong step? I am still searching for the answer. Faith must come with action. Therefore, this will make me constantly be on my toes to pray, believe and act.

Yet it is a day without regrets

2009-03-12T21:02:00.004+08:00

Today, the sun seems brighter. The air appears to be filled with invigorating fragrance.
I have made an effortless decision earlier of the day, "Not to go to work". Not only because I felt tired and fed up with my work, moreover, it was because of a nagging migraine pain resulted since the day before yesterday. However, my conscience whispered to me not to simply take emergency leave without a valid reason. Eventually, I was more than convinced that I needed the break. Break away from the weekday routines. The routines are dull if I started my day without remembering to whom my life shall be dedicated for. Only surviving on the sole daily bread everyday,I know I need to take time to be still and quiet before Him. Although the entire day I was occupied with some other things such as doing household chores, brisk walking in the morning and you-know-what (of course shopping!), today was extraordinary for me. Thanks to the one whom has given me this day. These may not sound as special to others, but strangely, i find that even doing household chores is comforting for me and it is capable to draw me closer to Him. Despite having to sweat all over the body, I enjoyed managing the household and cooking. Perhaps, it may merely last for only a while. I don;t mind as long as it helps me to move on with my life, discovering new leisure. (oh, it reminds me a lot of Camp Cameron)..
Well, waiting for someone to come home has been part of my agenda lately. I will start to prepare for dinner as well as for the following day's breakfast. Unfortunately, i have spoken too soon. Sometimes, i find doing all this can be frustrating too soemtimes...
Today, is still a day for me to treasure. Seldom will I be able to live my day like today unless of course I am still a student but I have learned to grow up and take responsibility of the decision I make. May I grow to become more mature spiritually and find my strength renew day after day. Tomorrow will be a better one for me, I believe.

Another extraordinary day

2008-12-03T22:41:00.006+08:00

Again, the exclusives had their monthly meet up.
Strangely how we ended up in one of the not-so-popular restaurant although the food is not too bad.
It was an almost two hour session of catching up and sharing our recent happenings to each other. Exchange our so called "news" about ourselves as well as others was part of the agenda, as usual I could say. Well, if you were one of our topics, that means Christine really misses you tremendously! haha...
This kind of meeting i truly cherish as we sincerely share our genuine friendship and talking endlessly almost about anything even though we may misuse some words for some other context like "pre-marital".
Anyway, I had a whale of a time, laughing too much i guess. My cheek hurts until now.
I came home with a satisfied feeling as I know there are still friends who care.
I thank God that each of them are going overseas for their holiday trip this year end and have a safe trip to your respective destinations and enjoy it to the fullest man!
As for me, I have a plain simple get away with my parents and Andrew this year end. I think I would most probably be going for the paragliding once again=) which i did two years ago.
Christmas is approaching. It is time for me to prepare myself during this Advent season that I may truly rejoice to share Christ's love to everyone around me. His unfailing, amazing love...
A conversation (as much as I wanted a conversion at the same time), took place pertaining to how one should celebrate christmas and what is the meaning after all. I chanced to explain further what Christmas was and is to me to this colleague. She is a non-believer, a rather staunch Buddhist or is she an atheist im not quite sure. She merely has Santa as the most essential part of christmas. I told her that funny how it is not called "Santa-mas" but "Christmas". Immediately, she rejected the true meaning of Christmas that I was attempting to tell her. I told the Lord that hopefully she'll understand fully what Christmas is all about. She was a little too obstinate regarding the meaning of Christmas. Reason being, she kept telling me how she didn't want to be reminded herself of the harshness of reality in life and Christmas should be a joyous occasion where everybody should be enjoying life and it's only a celebration. It will break her heart if i were to tell her the truth about Christmas.
Deep down in me, there were tonnes of things that I wished to share it to her. First is the birth of Christ that brings hope to everyone living in this sinful and fallen world. Secondly, is that, once you know the truth, it will set you free and not to live in denial. Of course, oppression, injustices, conflicts are inevitable in real life but one thing that a Christian arms with is the unconditional love and forgiveness.
Well, i need to be prepared and take another opportunity to let her know how much Jesus loves her...

wasting time

2008-10-12T16:06:00.001+08:00

wasting time is somehow a sin for me because i have not make good use of my time when i can do something about it..sigh...i settle what i need to. I hate to even wait here like this.

I'm done.

2008-09-16T17:50:00.002+08:00

Jus two minutes ago, my two bosses left. Phew, it was a very intensed meeting. I'm pretty sure i can sleep soundly tonight. All the energy in me oozes whenever i have meetings with them. Lots of brainstorming session together with them. Whatever i have prepared, i expect tremendous changes. Well, it's a very humbling experience to work here but thank God that my bosses won't humiliate me for what i'm not certain of or do not know.
Immediately after the meeting, i would like to spend some time in my own space. That's why i write this. I'm done with what i should at this moment.
Thank God I'm still in one piece. Amen...

It'll be definitely late for tonight

2008-09-11T18:31:00.006+08:00

Ever since i have started working, life has tremendously changed. I come to face the reality. The working environment isn't too bad after all. It's just that the work load is unbearable sometimes and my sense of timing has to be accurate somehow as it is project-based work is all about deadlines. Well, come to think of it, I am given an opportunity now to be discipline and prudent. In big or small decisions, whether it's pertaining to personal life or work, definitely the every single minute detail has to be taken into account. "Can not be short-sighted," as how my boss mentioned it.
But unfortunately, i have been slacking in my spiritual life. Seriously, i'm growing but not spiritually but horizontally. Well, at some point of time, i truly need to break away from the life that i am living now. I am not satisfied at all honestly in terms of my relationship with the One above.
However, there are things that i won't stop giving thanks to God. Regarding my work, i have two programme advisors(the founders) and one direct supervisor, who are generally humble and generous in sharing their knowledge and experience in our field of work. On top of that, all of them are Christians and "the strong ones" i would say=). Isn't it amazing? I thought it won't be too good to be surrounded by a bunch of Christians but i came to realization that wherever i have been sent to, i will always have Christian friends around me or in way, am i too comfortable or God knows that i would fall easily that's why He sends many angels to "watch over" me? Well, well, well, perhaps...
In terms of my personal life, i thank God that i have the determination to make a change, of course for the betterment of my future.
Therefore, i am staying late tonight in the office to complete with what i can. The battle starts tomorrow..

it's a surprise!

2008-06-15T22:24:00.002+08:00

the feeling is beyond words=)a "pleasant surprise" i name it. thanks a lot.
we have not tried it before anyway but it's just crazy. hopefully, everything you have done it's not because of anything else but self-volition and love.

i'm ok

2008-04-19T11:54:00.004+08:00

yes, i wasn't alright but now, im ok. thanks for those who still care. Your spiritual encouragement and support came at the right time. A million and zillion thanks!=)

trust

2008-04-15T13:42:00.002+08:00

it's solely an insurmountable hardship for me to trust. Tell me why is it so difficult to completely believe what a person says or does? Can trust overcome every single doubt you have in mind? i personally do not think so. but sometimes, besides trusting a person what else can you do? ask the person to prove it to you? It may become so routined that it turns out to be a kind of responsibility that a person needs to fulfill in order to achieve what the person wants and gradually become insincere whether in deeds or words.

I will keep questioning myself. I need to think otherwise i might be trapped myself in dubious thoughts.

what possibly can unforgiveness lead to?

2008-04-15T13:33:00.002+08:00

1) hatred
2) resentment
3) bitterness
4) grudges
5) revenge
6) broken relationships
7) escapism

and the list goes on...
Is there anyone whom has undergone any total breakthrough or healing under God's grace and forgiveness? Is there any chances stand for a once broken relationship before? I mean earthly relationship.

I am completely agree to what a friend of mine told me. Not to be too emtionally involved now as i am going to sit for my finals soon. Alright, i guess whatever it is now, i just set it aside first and settle it sooner or later.

This nagging pain still lingers.

i just hate it!!

2008-04-11T18:15:00.002+08:00

I just hate it! Knowing that today it's going to be the last day of everything. My last class, my last CF meeting, my last lecture and what not. I am not sure whether am i ready to leave from my comfort zone. Seriously, i am just clueless about "what's next?"
Well, i just hate to have found out something too. Soemthing unpleasant. i wish i have someone beside to let me lash out. i wish i could undo it. it didn't come across my mind that it'd affect my feelings so much and now im emotionally drained.

I am not sure whether am i ready going it through for the second time. The most hurtful time is going to be this if it is true. I wish i dont have to do this..

Those words

2008-03-13T20:09:00.003+08:00

"I Love You" has been very difficult for me to utter or rather express it ever since i was in primary school until i thought i have found the one whom i truly love wholeheartedly. I could just easily let it slip through my lips back to few years then whether i meant it or not. And now it has become a very difficult thing for me again. Perhaps insecurity or distrust may be the cause of not being able to articulate it. I could just choose to express it in a non-verbal way. Yes i would if i could especially to my loved ones but only occasionally.
Thank you, Lord for showing me what it takes to love a person and what does it mean to truly love a person unconditionally which has become harder each day.

the walk

2008-03-13T19:36:00.003+08:00

I have been enjoying it constantly especially in the morning. The warmth of the sunshine always reminds me of the presence of our mighty Creator. On top of that, the existing of the heaven's eye assures me the hope that can be found in God daily. Nothing is impossible with God around is what i always think in the beginning of each day but the thought may not last until the end of the day. At least, my journey to the campus becomes more meaningful as i want to waste no time praying for whatever that comes across my mind. Sometimes, i have been too self-conscious that people who drive or walk pass me may think that i mumble to myself. Automatically i cease but then continue mumbling, laughing at myself. Only 4 more weeks to go. To me, it's something that i want to carry it with me when i have officially completed my studies here. The path to the destination has not been changed thus far. Nothing special, no awesome scenery nor breathtaking views. Of course it depends very much how you look at it. However, it still grips in my heart that it is indeed a significant, impossible-to-be-forgotten journey. I have been walking it to and fro for three and a half years. It is God who has been walking side by side with me in those days until now. Still, it's the most pleasant and enjoyable walk. The walk seemingly signifies my walk with the Lord. The closeness is beyond description.

Sleepless night

2008-03-04T12:23:00.002+08:00

yester-night was the most terrible night that ever happened to me in this year. So many things were running through my mind and i did not know which one to focus on. After i took my medicine, i was still tossing and turning on my bed. Perhaps the t-shirt i wore wasn't suitable to sleep at night.
"Where should i work, where should i serve, where should i begin, when should i further my studies" are some of the questions that kept playing in my mind throughout the entire night. Thus, i was quite cranky this morning due to serious sleep deprivation. Why should all these things be in my head when im not feeling well? I suffered a trying moment like this and it's enough. Even this once lasted for the whole night.
I can't afford to be too slack. Time waits for no one. I will find it. I need to set it aside for prayer and do some thinking at least of what am i going to do next?

lousiest doctor

2008-03-03T19:47:00.006+08:00

Went to the clinic this afternoon. I took my number and waited for my turn to be called. The moment i reached the face of the door, i saw the name of the doctor (don't really intend to reveal name here). I cracked it open, i observed that the doctor was actually rather podgy and idle. He was the only doctor that i have ever seen without any kind of typical busy physician look. I automatically doubt whether i went into the correct room. He was flipping through my file to check intently if there were any medical history of mine i guessed. Therefore, i took the initiative to sit down for a few minutes quietly until the doctor broke the silence,

Doctor:"Are you a final year student?"
Me: "Yeah.."
Doctor:"Hmm, i see." (he said leisurely)
Me:"ok."
Doctor looked through my profile and i didn't know what was his purpose.
"So have you come to receive any medication?"
Me: "No." (it's an obvious NO when my file was still clean and empty..DUH!!)
Doctor:"So what is your problem?"
Me:"I caught a cold since Saturday and a severe running nose. I have got headache off and on too. Now my throat is very dry. I could barely feel what i could breathe in."
Doctor took his RED EVER READY TORCH LIGHT to check my throat and my nostril.
"Ya, i think i should prescribe you with neurobionic, pain killer and some medicine for flu. If your throat is still dry then you come back again and i will give you the spray."
Me: "ok doctor. Can you give me an MC until tomorrow?"
Doctor: "You mean starting from today, afternoon?"
Me:"Yes, i need the rest and i have been unwell since Saturday."
Doctor: "So you want an MC until tomorrow, aren't you? Do you have any exam or are you on your praktikum?"
Me: "No, mid-term test was last week and i am still studying."
Doctor: "Ok."
Me:"So doctor do i proceed to the pharmacy now to do the necessary?"
Doctor:"Yes, just go the other block and take your medicine."
Me:"Thank you doctor."

Silence....

Just imagine, there were still a lot of students out there waiting for their turn. Im wondering whether am i physically sick or sick of the professionalism of a so called doctor..My blood pressure was not checked not even my heartbeat. What is this now?

I need the rest and that's why i am here=)

At a crossroads

2008-02-26T23:15:00.002+08:00

At this juncture of life, unfortunately i do not know who to turn to for advice whether or not i join the teaching profession. Therefore, i started to reread the purpose driven. I do not know why i did that yesterday but i feel so desperate for an answer from God. Was it too late to search for an answer now? What would i love end up to be? Perhaps God is constantly speaking to me in different ways but on the other hand, im constantly being drowned by the voice of the world.
Lately, chris, grace, mel and i have been sharing the what we wanted to do so much after our graduation. We have a common desire, that is to travel to another place to see another part of this wonderful world. Experiencing a different culture, undergoing dissimilar education system, broadening our insights about life were the things we were looking forward to do and hoping that these wishes would come true someday down the road. Perhaps these are some of the dreams that could be fulfilled, prayerfully. Four of us grow closer especially during these last few weeks of our final semester. Seriously, we talked about various stuff and at times, attempting to help each other not to make wrong decision with our best effort in different aspects of our lives.
Now, learning to make a correct decision is the toughest part in my life. I do not wish to make a decision out of self-guilt or too focused on what i want to do and what i want to be instead of what God wants me to do and to be.
Suffice to say, i need an confirmation and support to where i want to go next..

My first nightmarish job

2008-01-03T17:50:00.000+08:00

2007 was over three days ago. I have not been blogging ever since my internship was over. Immediately i got myself a job in prudential as a so called "Contract Officer" though it may sound glamour. What i did in the company was just sitting in front of the desktop, analyse the policy given and generate documents as well as learning how to make decision to some problematic policies with the processing rules provided.
I wasn't really enjoying my work then but thank God i met with a bunch of crazy colleagues who were helpful and yet extremely crappy. Besides doing what the job requires, sometimes, you know human tend to misuse their tongues because the forbidden fruit is almost always irresistible,that is to "Gossip". Guess what we normally "discuss" about? ta-dah!!of course our superiors la..what else besides them whom have made us our lives miserable day and night as long as we were in the office.."Hit Target" was the only thing in their mind. The worst thing that i encountered was when i had a nightmare facing the computer reading the policies when i needed the rest so much. Well, it's kind of dreading me until the next day when i woke up and got back to my work station.
Forgive me for those who are working already. By the way, im not trying to approve this kind of behaviour. Ironically, it was a rewarding experience after all. At least, i learned how to prepare myself to fit into my career world in near future throughout the entire working experience that i gained in prudential.

indolence

2007-09-27T16:14:00.000+08:00

what hinders me doing the things that i actually wanted so much to do?im barely indolent.i'll most likely ending up lying in my bed..well, now is really not the time for me to blog what has been happening to me in the past couple of weeks..my mind is just fully occupied with the thought of going to sleep and grab some good food if there is any chance..but it seems improbable now..truly im dying to go and dine for some good and sumptuous stuff..hooray!!=)specifically cakes..oh no..my sweet tooth..

Something unethical

2007-08-16T21:01:00.000+08:00

This week is the exam week for those who are still schooling in secondary level. Haha..The indolence that grips inside of me is increasing in me as time passed us by. I never realized until i told my friend that i overslept for consecutively three days. It seemed that my mind kept reminding me to go and grab some rest while i still can during this week because no teaching is going on for the entire week. To top it off, the following week is the school 2nd half term break (Hooray!!) and i decided to take my own sweet time to plan for my lessons but nothing came across my mind so far. Ironically, im getting nervous too as the lecturer would be coming for the 3rd observation and hopefully it'll be the final one. Stress is mounting whenever im reminded of this particular thing.
Well, i did something unethical today as i helped my students during their exams. A few of them actually asked me for the meaning of words. Initially, i refused to help because i'd be violating whatever rules that the school or MOE has but eventually i did explain partly to them what was it about.
Being a teacher was fun and enjoyable sometimes but stressful and hectic most of the time. It depends also what kind of students you are assigned to teach and what subject you are dealing with also. The suffering is needed to develop perseverance and patience and may eventually abound in Hope. Not unbearable i would say. Jesus is still my Greatest Teacher of all.

"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." -Matt11:28-30-

Simply Delirious

2007-08-16T20:21:00.000+08:00

when i was planning and preparing for the entire evening's celebration the other day, i was ecstatically struck with the ideas that flowed in my mind. i just felt excited when i came to think of how wonderful my God was that we were able to celebrate each other's lives. In fact, he is special to me all this while.
The moment i picked him up that day, i made him signed an invitation card for verification purposes and i told him that i didn't intend to take the wrong person out. Both of us, flashed each other a silly smile. A brief conversation was exchanged during our drive to Mid Val, asking each other how were we coping with our stuff. I was pretty delighted to know that my plan was going smoothly that day.After the lunch, we headed to the cinema. The ticket for Rush Hour 3 was bought beforehand and andrew actually asked me, "did you get the Gold Class ticket?"..ya, well i wish i could afford that andrew but too bad..=(
Later in the evening, we arrived at a mediocre-affordable diner, Kaki Corner just after we came out from Leisure Mall to get a Penang map. Soon, i asked him to unwrap the present and the birthday card. I wasn't sure whether he would love the gift but i just took the hazard to get it for him when i didn't know what to buy for him at that critical moment. Phew!!thank God at least i was able to choose the gift that was still within my budget=).
No doubt, we had a wonderful, delicious, considerably sumptuous repast. It wasn't merely the food that made the moment so exceptional but the person that you are spending time with. Ya, we had a whale of a time chit chatting and laughing at my initial plan for that night. Silly me..
Occasionally, we celebrate special events to commemorate something worth remembering and cherished. I believe even if we had only a simple one, it would be good enough for us. This celebration, i would say,was like the first celebration that i ever had with him once again. It revived the feeling of appreciation towards God's love and ours, for each other. Truly and ultimately, im so grateful to God of how He works His wonders in all this!!

something ironic?

2007-08-06T21:41:00.001+08:00

Seriously,

I do not teach.

Instead,

they teach me how to appreciate myself,
they teach me to be more creative,
they teach me to use my authority,
they teach me to judge conscientiously,
they teach me to think out of the box,
they teach me to possess real patience,
they teach me to listen to the voices of their hearts,
they teach me to envision where the future would bring us to,
they teach me the trend of the new generation,
they teach me about their concerns,
and most of all,
they teach me the best way that enables me to teach them.

They are identified as "Students of the new generation"

And last but not least, did i teach by the way?=)

My Lifetime with Jesus

2007-08-06T20:57:00.000+08:00

Walking through this narrow path,
my soul is so blessed knowing
When Jesus carries my burdensome and anxious thoughts,
Leading my brokenness straight to Him,
He paves the way, He draws near,
Unto me, unto me

How could i deny
that His love is from everlasting to everlasting,
I don't have to utter, He understands,
He cares until the end of time,
All i could say now is
My lifetime with Jesus
is a promise to eternity,
the sweetest moment that i could hold on to...

Missing-In-Action

2007-06-26T18:58:00.000+08:00

*cheng, cheng, cheng!!* Here i am once again back to PJ to settle numerous stuff. Im dying to share what i did during my holidays..alas, i don't have any idea of where to begin. Undeniably, my holidays were marvellous and refreshing but insufficient. Moreover, the government wanted to cut down the public holidays to increase productivity and efficiency in the public services..*lol*..alright i'd stop here for the time being..it's time for dinner!!my favourite time of the day!!=)

unfilled

2007-04-23T19:58:00.000+08:00

emtpy. hollow. void. misunderstandings. unappreciative. unheard voices. broken.

because of

lack of faith

and trust?

God please fill me once again.

regret you not

2007-04-22T16:46:00.000+08:00

just try your best to find the way
to unearth all the latent capacity in you
to maximise your strength and talent
to shine the beauty of Christ in you
I'm sure someone will be inspired
by the way you learn total dependency on God
Ensuring you still
that i do care and support you all the way
to journey all the way
to the heights of your joy and sorrow i would share
and so regret you not
for thy hope is not blighted in the Lord.

Hold on

2007-04-22T13:45:00.000+08:00

May God's heartbeat be audible to you,
Your own passion converges with His,
No matter how hard it is,
I believe someday you are able to,
As long as you seek His face,
And keep your faith unwavering.
Let Him draw closer to you,
As i may not always be able to,
May He lavish on all that you desire,
And I wish you Jesus in what may come your way.

the unresolved remains the same

2007-04-21T21:15:00.000+08:00

"Never dwell in your past". That is what many people told me to do. Is that easy for me? I am seriously not able to and those pain surfaced again the other day that led me to vent my frustration in my church's washroom because of the unresolved issues within me that have pierced me through deeply. Many songs drown me into reminiscing the past. Unpleasant ones. Also the blissful ones. Conversation of the past is still heard. Pictures unceasingly flooded into the mind's eye. Nothing change? or am i still back there? Bring me back to where i belong please...

one of life's toughest lessons

2007-04-21T20:51:00.000+08:00

Learning to say "NO" is one of the life's toughest lessons. Does it sound agreeable to you?

Empty it is

2007-04-20T20:08:00.000+08:00

Remarkably astonished. I was left stupefied. Mercilessly, he gave me a hard time to think of what to write. Shrugging my shoulders, sighing the two hours after all in the ice box(exam hall). The Pen refused to harvest this unteeming brain of mine. It's crappable for this seemingly empty and void mind to simply scribble any possible, irrelevant answers that came out of this faculty. Most importantly, give thanks to my Shepherd who granted me the opportunity to learn what i could from this process of preparing for exams.

Enough is enough

2007-04-19T20:42:00.001+08:00

Hard to believe this, that i have been rereading those notes for the past few days and by God's grace it should suffice to face tomorrow. Honestly, it wasn't really a strenuous revision, it's just that i forced myself to read comprehensively without having to memorise word for word. Slow learner like me has to take lengthy of time to assimilate the text and some extra annotated notes provided. Thanks to technology nowadays. This time is different because the literary works that im working are quite political and philosophical. "Hamlet" is killing me as well as Hardy's poems. Now i feel enough is enough, although my mind is blank now...why study in the first place? i'm still wondering...

blessings drop incessantly

2007-04-13T00:38:00.000+08:00

These pictures were captured on 1st of April which my housemates and i supposedly to celebrate our ever first April Fool together. That's what they told me. Asking me to dress up as we would be going to dine in a virtually fine restaurant. Chronologically here shows what took place that particular day:

And so this was the centre of attention..(so perasan me)

and once we had finished partaking our luscious food..

jeng...jeng...jeng...

a birthday song was sang to Desmond..so embarassed me..aww...after making me to stand on the chair and everyone's eye was on me because they sang louder than the karaoke!

well, fine, i have got the culprit here!!the mr.bumble bee in our house..

what happened later?of course cake cutting ceremony..and presenting to you the supposedly April fool cake..

Don't laugh..this was what my first expression the moment i put the piece of cake into my mouth..but it didn't mean that it was not delicious..

Then we proceed to our crappy game..and desmond gave me the reserved tag which i wasn't supposed to be the person to receive it..but ultimately it got back to the "person"..=)

housemates outside the "izzi" restaurant..wonder why we never looked at the camera?

my siblings..

and some extended relationship of course but why david pek appeared in the picture?hmm..i wonder...

and eventually all of us except my sis, the skillful camera lady..

At home and it's my last birthday picture in B208 with Puiyee and Chris before the strip off their status as residents in B208..

Will miss all these..=,(

It is done!

2007-04-12T12:44:00.000+08:00

It is finished!!Phew!!!...

i want to be where i want to be

2007-04-09T21:22:00.000+08:00

busy,hectic,engaged,occupied,absorbed,engrossed..playing with the thesaurus trying to find the most appropriate word to elucidate my state of mind...
so, how am i now?Despite losing my enthusiasm and motivation under this perpetual torture of completing assignment, i know i will have to dispel this kind of mentality of not being able to finish it. It bogs me down. Dismissing the indifference to my spiritual growth is another increasing struggle.
Anyway, im still fighting the battle.
My soul needs to find a place to rest ultimately.
Cheers!

Tremendously Blessed!!

2007-03-02T16:17:00.000+08:00

Did i ever tell anyone that i have a long lost sister? Well, she brought me out last Monday to celebrate my earliest birthday that i ever had throughout this 22 years. She presented me a book that i had given to one of closest friends during his birthday. Initially i wasn't that keen to give away the book but what i now truly understand what it means when God will multiply your blessings. Not only my dearest sis bought me the book, we went for a considerably fine dining restaurant to celebrate my birthday. Despite grumbling all the way through the whole night, i find that i could comfortably share to her what has been disturbing and haunting me. I pitied her too as she was there to listen to all my grandma's stories..Thank God for this great blessing, none other than Wan Ling=)!

Time In A Bottle

2007-02-05T19:52:00.000+08:00

Another period of time to learn the toughest lesson ever again on How To Let Go. I think it's a lesson to teach me not to be selfish time and again. I wish i could just let God to control what's happening after all and i don't have to bother what's going on in others' life whom i wanted to care. Caring someone proves to me that it'll turn out to be utterly in vain.
Do you have expectation towards someone you love? Normally i do but i guess in the end i will just make a person feels that he or she is a failure or am i a failure instead because i couldn't make the person feel important to me? On the other hand, if i were not to have any expectation, would it be better for him or her to get on with his or her life?What if the person complained that i don't care about him or her later then?Is giving freedom equals to loving a person?
Most of the time im trapped in all these kinds of dilemma whether how should i treat a person. No doubt, im a hypocrite in what i have said and done. I would just try my best to do what's best now for im accountable to God in every single actions and words that come from me. Perhaps i'll try my very best to enable myself to let "it" go as soon as possible.

What Hurts the MOST

2007-02-04T07:50:00.000+08:00

Is the throbbing pain caused by the one you love and being too close is after all bearing with the aftermath aches.

i should have..

2007-01-13T23:03:00.000+08:00

I should have kept quiet (instead of voicing out my mind and heart)
I should have closed the door (instead letting in the endless disaster)
I should have been firmed with my decision (instead of giving in most of the time)
I should have shut my ear to what's the world telling me to do
I should have listened first to God
I should have handled it wisely
I should have hardened my heart (instead of letting myself being vulnerable now)
I should have stopped repeating the traumatic past
I should have liberated from pain (why is it still nagging in me?)
I should have freed from all hurts (why is it still aching in my heart?)

After all, it has proved to me otherwise...

I have returned.

2007-01-03T18:21:00.000+08:00

Today marked the second week of my 3rd year 1st semester. Just in case if you thought that i'm missing in action, too bad i'm not..hehe!!It's just that i was rather busy for the past few days. Only by now i've gotten myself to settle down and begin my journey afresh in year 2007. The other day, i remembered someone asked me my new year resolution and unfortunately i didn't have one or at least half..hehe..However,i guess i should have thought of what do i want to do this year or what i dont want to do..the list of do's and dont's might go on and on.
I had lunch with a bunch of PKV people today which was sort of uplifting me with Victor's news that he will have classes on Saturday. Sound upsetting and he was complaining about that but he told us that he should stop complaining because one of his new year resolution was NOT-TO-COMPLAIN-TOO-MUCH. We were teasing him of this because instead of setting this as his new year resolution why not change it to NOT-TO-COMPLAIN-AT-ALL?From now onwards, i don't want to complain about my Fridays class anymore but the one thing that i dislike is the class time clashes with PKV Meeting=(
Disregard my physical absence in pkv weekly meetings, the spirit of meeting up and encouraging one another is still there. Thank God for the self-proclaimed PSF (Pretty-Sister-Fellowship).
Anyway, i have to continue with my lesson plan though it's only the 2nd week and loaded with assignments..

hypocrisy

2006-11-01T15:36:00.000+08:00

Mind you, Jesus hates hypocrites!so am i one of them too? in fact, i think i should reexamine myself in dealing with how should i be honest with what i feel and what i say. Does my heart, my feeling matches what i utter?sometimes yes, depends on who the person is. i believe it is a hard going lesson from God to my conscience now. besides, it's an unpleasant encounter when you have to fight it through by first asking for forgiveness and then, learn to forgive myself without any marks of ensuing guilt. There are times too, i will rather look into it others' fault and weaknesses when Jesus taught us, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?(v.1)You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly t remove the speck from your brother's eye(v.5)"- Matt7:1&5. Who am i to judge those people whom i first thought were hypocrites?Ironically, it all resulted in knowing that actually i am one of them too..Perhaps, i should be labelled as a hypocrite too!!

employing my experience

2006-10-31T17:08:00.000+08:00

God will not waste the hurts that i have been through which serve as an indication to which ministry or area that im made and shaped to serve in.In fact, our greatest ministry will most likely come out of our greatest hurt. Who could better help a broken hearted to be wholesome again than someone who fought through that agonizing broke up experience herself and found freedom? I never knew it was so true until a friend of mine told me yesterday what she was struggling through with her long-distance relationship recently. The whole situation was as if, were framed exactly reflecting to what happened to me back to approximately 9 months ago. Yesterday, if not for God's grace, i wouldnt have shared and uncovered my painful past, admitting my fears and failures that to my surprise, has encouraged my friend!For all this while, i have been bearing this as my sin and shame but God has manifested it as otherwise. Well, needless to say now, it's a time to brag of my own weaknesses and if not for these weaknesses, my life might totally leave no room for my dependency towards God. Believe it or not, people are always more encouraged when we share how God's grace helped us in weakness than when we brag about our strength. However, it's not easy initially but it's out of willingness and love. Besides, Jesus died and rose again, entitling me to a total forgivenss and freedom to move on.frankly i wouldnt want her to feel hopeless but be comforted by God."He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us" (2 Cor 1:4).I have been grappling with issues about knowing and discerning His will since the session with Kim Cheng that i went for, pertaining God's will, during one the PKV meetings. Well, keep on asking, seeking and knocking and the door will be opened unto those who are determine to seek to serve according to His purpose for everyone.

Love In Action

2006-10-30T00:13:00.002+08:00

Jesus taught us not to love merely by words but by deeds. On top of that, put into practice what you learned. I did it today and i wasn't proud of myself but felt thankful for being able to seize this rare opportunity to donate blood which didn't clash with my class eventually. God has graced the whole process although my arm was numb which lasted for quite some time immediately after i left the elevated relaxing lazy chair. Opportunity like this doesn't bump into us accidentally or conveniently. I believe it's a time when decision is to be made out of our clear conscience, where after much courage is accumulated to respond our love to God and His people who are urgently in need of the blood that everyone donated. Knowing not much that how the little amount that i have donated could help in saving one's life but certainly it's a right thing to do, acknowledging that God has given and it's time for me to give cheerfully and generously.I wish could have donated generously though,unfortunately i didn't have my breakfast prior to the donation because i woke up late before i went to worship service. Therefore, the doctor informed me that it was advisable for me to donate only 300ml of blood, lesser amount than one normally donates. At least it's better than none! It's an expression of gratitude to my Eternal Heavenly Father for all these healthy years that i have had.

3M's

2006-10-26T20:07:00.000+08:00

(1) Master
(2) Mission
(3) Mate

Master should and must be the first and foremost priority in every believer's life.I'm not exceptional in this case.Mission!!im most unlikely to really know what He has in stored for me(perhaps im not the only one who struggles with this)..I was saved to serve and knowing well enough that now is the process of preparing though i loathe the fact that i constantly doubt what He is doing in me and through me is right or otherwise.On top of that, im still searching in which area i have a great passion for.Hopefully to be fully ascertained in no time before i graduate.Ya, last but not least, when it comes to "Mate", of course im praying for "him" as well as myself to be prepared to be the right one for him and vice versa despite the fear to love and trust again.Definitely, this is a preferable sequence of what most of us are praying for, to know the Master's will first and seek His Kingdom and eventually the next focus will be our mate or maybe not.But again,how would closely i follow this?arrgh!!i always run out from my focus, more than that, the perpetual idolisation of self-will is still gripping in me.

His will or my will?

2006-10-12T20:06:00.000+08:00

A constant struggle it will be when i come to question myself about this. I dont want to evade this issue as a christian. Warning us again and again, Mr.lian urge us to handle this delicately with much prayer and meditation on His word. Even the real life example cited from the Bible about how Jesus struggled to pray that may the cup of suffering be taken away, not His will but God's will be done. Occasionally or perhaps most of the time, i wanted God to fit in to my plan when im supposedly to let myself to fit into the Master's plan. The study of Romans 9, really gave an insightful thoughts especially in this area which i always befuddled with. If God allows you to have your own way, according to Mr.Lian, we shouldnt be too happy first because our ways are comparatively destructive to His ways. He consents freedom to choose your own way out of His patience. But what if things dont end well, what am i going to do? What if He were out of patience and consumed me with His wrath?oh..the picture in my mind is terribly left in utter desolation.
Hopefully at this juncture, im on the right track to walk in His ways. Yes, let Him give me life in His ways.

highly favourable snack=)

2006-09-19T21:14:00.000+08:00

I used to had it in my tuition classes to keep me from falling asleep.why oh why am i reminiscing all these silly things?this thing sometime appeared to me as an astonishment. I received it again the other day. So, should i keep it or consume it because i seldom buy it now as it's far more expensive in KL..hahaha..i think i'll eat it when im about to fall asleep in class..on top of that thanks for the unexpected Rockies ..

Crazy..

2006-09-17T22:16:00.000+08:00

Huh?Dont get us wrong..we are not jumpy(in fact we looked carefree) but cant you see that God has made us in a special way with physical strength to jump for Him!!=)
This photo was taken on the last day of the Camp. Jia Hui started to jump so all of us just joined in and freaked out!!

She's adorable..

2006-09-17T21:58:00.000+08:00

I really miss her tremendously..='(

B.U.S.Y

2006-09-14T20:59:00.000+08:00

Have you come across with this word? Familiar? Ha! It stands for :
B- Being
U- Under
S- Satan's
Y- Yoke
yup, i had a fruitful discussion on this matter with my Care Group today. Most of us were sharing how we went through our term break. Paradoxically, it's a working holiday. Busy ourselves with our assignments and our own commitments which has subtly took up most our time and sadly, sometimes we had neglected to spend time to our Giver of time. The story that we discussed together reminded me also how the Satan could creatively sabotage our lives by keeping us occupied with loads of things on our mind. It doesnt neccessarily come in an ostensible way everytime. He can tempt you to gossip when you are having spiritual fellowship, letting us to have a conservative lifestyle, letting us to go to church/CF meetings/CG but steal our time hence we cant gain that relationship with Jesus, having excessive recreation that makes us exhausted and restrains us from being reflective to God's wonder in nature and so on and so forth..The most terrible one is that Satan lets you to be involved in soul winning but crowds Christians with so many "good" causes they have no time to seek power from Christ. soon, the Christians will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause..
So are you infected?

Shakespeare On Screen

2006-09-13T21:25:00.000+08:00

This evening was a total brand new experience for me. We had our film shooting at Taman Jaya Park. Million thanks to Kim Cheng who called me just before the shooting and reminded me of the Lord would constantly be with me as i was initially rather jittery whenever im in front of the camera.My not-so-demonstrative personality has restricted myself to perform to the best.I dont know why.Most of the first few acts, i was quite stoical, struggling hard to find the suitable expression to say my lines. Beleaguered by worries of the weather, script memorisation, others assignments, presentation had almost made me went out of my mind and caused me hard to focus one thing at a time. Despite the fact that not all these can be settled at once, as long as i learn to rely on God,knowing it's not a kind of insidious process, i will feel much alleviated..Still, i have sleepless nights.hmm..im not indefatigable..just over exhausted i guess..Ya,im the Romeo in the filming that my group are producing.Just dont imagine how do i look like.It's funny though or hideous just as you call it.haha..

say good-bye to my holiday..

2006-09-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

Reality is always challenging. Term break is going to end soon. My assignments are still piling up and more to come once the class starts on Monday. I dont know why i dont feel the urge to complete it and i dont even know where to start. Today the past has led me to kneel down and cry out to God. Perhaps, i have been too inquisitive that has caused myself to be overwhelmed by anxieties and fears. No one knows what will happen tomorrow. I wish i'll be mature enough to say to God someday that let all the pain, affliction, struggles that His has willed for me, for the purpose of accomplishing His plan,why not just let it be?..
the usual schedule will begin again on Monday. Let me be strengthened by Him who cares for me, who created me, who formed me, who watches over me, who keeps me so that i can learn to be submissive and dependent on Him every second of my life..

dedication to these faithful warriors..

2006-09-07T19:35:00.000+08:00

Cheers to my kindred soul..sze meun, move on no matter how hard it is. You have been my encouragement and reminded me of how He graced through that stormy journey.

Adelene, a prayer warrior for PKV. Thanks for dedicating your life and service to make changes in many lives and touched them by prayers. Be strong and still in His presence, even you have to go through the painful moments..Rest assure that He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Pui Yee, my friend for life struggling through ups and downs with me without failing to be my keeper. Contemplative(C), Petite(P), Yielding to the truth(Y)..thats her name CPY..Choong Pui Yee=)thanks for putting every effort to make things happen in PKV!

Joyce, a sweet and gentle person when i think of her. Sometimes, perhaps you are trying too hard to be stern..haha..but your benevolence shines His name!!

Witty sometimes she may be or rather whimsical(W),Joyful(J) as she can be in rendering her service for God and His people's needs,Happening(H) everywhere she goes and does which has brought encouragement to those who are weary and burdened.Wong Jia Hui is her name. I can't stop thanking God for her weh!=)

Commander in chief(C) she's the one in mind though cuckoo(C) sometimes she can be when she's feeling like "duuh..", yahoo(Y)!!God has sent her to be part of my life and sharing our friendship and pretty sister fellowship is the thing that i will ever cherish in my life!Cheer up sis!!

THE Camp v.2

2006-09-07T15:57:00.000+08:00

Let it not be just another camp. Let me be rebuked and disciplined with what has drawing me away from my Heavenly Father, the one who cares me not only my needs but to broaden my sight not to look but see the needs of the His people. Broken as i am now, He never failed to pick up the pieces and patches through the rough path for me. Clearing misconception and breaking the walls of barriers to enable me to cross culture as how Jesus has crossed from heaven to earth to show the way. He humbled himself in obedience because of the overwhelming and unconditional love for us that has led Him to the cross by taking all my sin and shame, to build a bridge, bringing me back to God. Apparently everyone shared their problems living and studying with friends from different ethnic groups in campus. Im not exceptional in this case. Perhaps, i have been treating this issue lightly without giving much contemplation how will the next generation be if my laid back attitude perpetuates in this issue "to build bridges and to cross culture". A thought that really struck me was what kind of environment were we trying to shape for our next generation to live in and to grow as a christian in this country? I seldom talk to friends from other races nor am i trying to create an opportunity for them to come to know God personally. I have been giving myself excuses of having no time for these group of people. Aren't they too part of God's creation?I started to wonder, is God's concern, my concern?Is what i am doing now reflects what is God's will for my life?Many other non believers too have a perception that Christianity is a westernized religion, which doesnt make sense to them culturally. Do i even care to make the effort to clear all misconception in them?How could i care less now?On the other hand,there are a lot more people who thirst for the gospel and it's sad to see that the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few. The situation was similarly what i witnessed myself during our visitation to this Orang Asli kampung which was not far from our camp site. A lot of christians there and but the lack of manpower was part of the major issue to train up the next generation to lead the community there. Families suffer poverty and insufficient of food supply. The schooling children were often being mistreated by the teachers in school. They were pinched and slapped for doing minor mistakes. Their friends from other races bullied them, yet justice was not served but in return they were being pinched on the face for complaining. My heart was broken the moment i listened to their stories. Well, of course i would still admire them for their simplicity in life, being contented with what they have and the hospitality that they offered during our visitation. I observed no unfriendliness among them expect for those who were shy. One thing i brought back with me was that if we were to bring changes to their life, where should we start?We saw the living condition, which was comparatively far behind of what we could enjoy today but are they ready for the adaptation for better lifestyle and convenience to access to resources that they need as their revenue to support their lives?do they really need that or is it just a compulsive urge in us to build bridges and crossing culture in order to help them? Despite language barriers, i could still manage to talk with an adult there, knowing more about her family..Those little kids were memorable because of the infectous joy in them.
Many issues has been exposed by KimCheng during the first night session where she helped us to see what was God's plan written in the bible(Gen11:1-9, Tower of Babel) and reminded us of PKV's vision. Apart from being, there's a need to see our pride, prejudice, fears, a predictable "tic tac toe" where we could predict where the chinese will end up to or the indians in the country we are living. A multiracial country indeed but the unity is almost out of the picture compare to what happened in the history when our forefathers were united because they were fighting the same enemies for the purpose of reaching independence. But what happen to the racial segregation now?hmm...I acknowledge my fears too. it's not easy opening up myself to get to know them(friends from other race) better because of my history too..haih..
Then the second night session was a tough one too, Brother Keepers. Each of us are accountable for our own brothers and sisters no matter what colour your skin is because we are one family in Christ's name as how God has the cultures being redeemed(Acts2:1-13) and a great multitude is to be brought before the throne(Rev.5:9-10;7:9). This reminded me of my resposibility to cheer each other up to continue the race no matter how tough it was until we finish the journey.In the process of keeping each other up, i might get hurt but i needed to learn to trust and became interdependent on our brothers and sisters in Christ. The worst part was to rebuke each other in a loving way..sometimes, to knowing the truth can be painful..
ya, i think thats what i feel to share and encourage you for this entry. Hopefully i can learn to be still in His presence no matter how furious the raging storm is..

hey ya..im back..

2006-09-06T00:25:00.000+08:00

this is really a tiring and time consuming journey. But the process of going up and down the was a deja-vu.It happens annually. Moreover, it's good to be back to Cameron Highlands once in a while and many memories came back as i passed by a number of places, retrospecting the events and tracing back the sound of laughter, the blissful moment i had in some particular place especially the Lakeview camp site, Yong Teng Cafe, T Cafe, Hong Kong steamboat shop and the list goes on...it's a pleasant journey especially my spiritual walk is once again renewed by God. Probably i should share it in my upcoming blog entry..
well, my mind is shutting off now. Hope to get back here to piece together what i've learned recently from my own CF camp..

leaving soon..

2006-09-01T23:55:00.000+08:00

Another 8 more hours to go..i packed my bags and im uncertain whether am i ready to go again.Riding on a spiritual path, anticipating for the Spirit to renew me once again and hopefully it'll be a new chapter of my life..May the Father continue to plant new thoughts and visions to break me and empty me to be used as His vessel. Anxiety seems overwhelming. Worries flooded in. Perhaps the reluctance to let go of the unfinished work behind and go for the camp. Is it a lesson for me to learn to let it go into the hands of God?Is all these unnecessary baggage for me to take up to the hill?well, God has called us not to live a comfortable after all..it's the process of character development..it all depends the way i think that shapes my thought and also the most important is that how much my thinking can relate back to biblical teaching.I find my knowledge about God is superficial. Therefore, i thank God for creating hunger in each of us and so that we will look for food like how we wanted so much to look out for the righteous path, seeking after Him.
So, i will end this entry here,praying that God will still be with me in whatever i do and think..

End of the beginning

2006-09-01T18:25:00.000+08:00

Well, friends..im not negligent or trying to be ignorant or indifferent with what i have started off..finally, the blog entry starts all over again here. The beginning has just ended and phew!!thank God that this time the recreating of another blog account wasn't really time-consuming.
Thanks to my dear sis, Jiahui. She has taught me how to use the blog and stuff..frankly im not blog-savvy, but still managable.
Nothing much has been done today. Here went the discussion again for the film making which is one of my subjects this term. Tonnes of tedious work and requires much effort and time to do a meticulous planning especially to get the appropriate customes, props, music, physical setting, etc..to be ready for the shooting..The shooting will commence this coming wednesday.However much i complain of not being prepared sufficiently to do it, i know have to settle it sooner or later.Sad to realize too..that..oh!!i havent memorize my script yet..for all you know, i was assigned to be one of the casts..ROMEO..haha..compared to Bahz Luhrman's romeo and juliet..im much more lousier..x1000unpreposessing...x1000000inefficient,untalented...
Ok, friends if you have read this, please do pray for me that God will strengthen me in all my weaknesses to be able to trust Him that i will learn something ultimately..